Internet circa 1997

I started using the internet right after my oldest daughter was born in 1997. My husband (now my ex-husband) and I bought our first laptop and signed up with AOL. We thought we were so cool. Really, we did. I think we were the first people we knew to have an internet connection and our own computer.

My daughter was just a few months old and I would sit with the laptop in front of me, her in my lap nursing and chat in chatrooms until the wee hours of the morning. I made a few really good friends in those chatrooms, a married pastor in Indiana that believed he was in love with me and two lesbian twin sisters from Wisconsin who both had a crush on me that the other didn't know about LOL Wow, chatrooms. Outside of IMs, I would never even consider a chatroom anymore and really not since then.

My biggest pet peeve at the time was getting booted from AOL every time the phone rang. It didn't take me long to learn how to disable the call waiting so I could chat and do much of nothing all day long.

In the first month or two, we were only able to connect at 28K and were so excited to finally be able to connect at 56K. There were times with AOL that I would disconnect from a 28K baud and sign in again hoping to get 56K. And again and again and again. It is simply amazing that at one point we all thought 56K dial-up was like light speed.

We lived outside of a large city and could only get a dial in number within that large city. Each call cost us 25 cents. I remember the first phone bill when it came in. Between calls to my gramma and dialing into AOL I spent $60 that month. My husband was livid LOL But I did it month after month until we were able to get a calling plan that allowed for no charge for calling someplace no more than 45 minutes away.

Internet circa 1997

http://suburbangypsy.blogspot.com/2009/02/internet-circa-1997.html

You know, the thing that covers the thing

And now that I have you here under false pretenses LOL

I walked out of the room a few minutes ago saying to my husband:

Me: When I come back, I want you to remind me what you said about the thing you saw on the side of the road.

Him: What thing?

Me: You know, the thing that covers the thing and holds the things together, that you saw on the side of the road.

I could just feel his eyes roll as I walked away.

Now what I wanted him to remind me about was this: (please note, he is falling asleep now and not as willing as I would like to discuss the thing he saw lying on the side of the road, but I proceed to bug him anyway)

Him: I should go back and pick up that thing outrigger pad laying on the side of the road back there.

Me: What is a thing an outrigger pad?

Him: It is a thing that covers a thing and holds thing together. <---- this is what I remember him saying, I think. This is what he says that he said (keep in mind he is tired now and has attitude) ----> It keeps shit from sinking into the ground.

Me: Well that didn't answer my question. (I say this as I am silently hoping he doesn't go into more detail about some dumb thing I care nothing about)

Him: It did answer your question, you just don't know it.

Me: No, I know nothing more than I did before I asked the first question.

Him: You do know more than you did, you just don't know it. (can you feel the smirk on his face?)

I sit there silently pondering the old philosophical riddle, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

If an a question is asked by a woman of a man, and his answer doesn't make answer sense to her, did he in fact answer her question?

Women? No, that would be the answer, right?

Exactly.

You know, the thing that covers the thing

http://suburbangypsy.blogspot.com/2009/02/you-know-thing-that-covers-thing.html

Seriously, did you just ask for an endorsement?

I had this friend, someone I tried to help in her home business, I tried to support over the course of many years. I loved this girl. And I thought she loved me back, respected me. That was until I was asked to help her sister with her sister's business. I will be nice and just simply say, I just could not make her happy and in the end it ruined my friendship.

I understand that sometimes people come into your life for a time and a season. I just accepted our season was over.

I have another friend, someone I have been friends with for the same amount of time, a friend who is so dear to me and was too friends with the above mentioned girl. Nearing the end of my friendship, theirs seemed to dissolve as well.

A few weeks back, through a Google Alert completely unrelated, I found that the above mentioned girl was dealing with some health issues with one of her children. That on top of the birth of a new baby.

I pondered letting her know she was in my thoughts and prayers, but decided simply praying for her was enough. My other friend however, emailed her, congratulating her on the new bebe and letting her know she was praying for her older child's health.

No response came.

No surprise, not really. At least on my end. I didn't expect she would receive a response. I couldn't even be certain she would read the email.

She did however ask for an endorsement on LinkedIn this past weekend.

What?

Seriously.

We haven't spoken to you for nearly a year. There is a bit of bad blood and certainly hurt feelings. And one of us reaches out to you letting you know she cares and the only response she gets is in asking for an endorsement?

Yeah, you are exactly the type of person who she would endorse.

Whatever.

Seriously, did you just ask for an endorsement?

http://suburbangypsy.blogspot.com/2009/02/seriously-did-you-just-ask-for.html

I am sure I just ate a bug...

Larvae really.

We had Rice a Roni for dinner. I ate a helping.

A few hours later, hubby who didn't eat much dinner because his stomach was bothering him, wanted to try to eat some of the rice.

Once I heated it up he decided that no, he didn't want it after all.

So I ate it.

Nearing the bottom of the bowl, a piece of rice that didn't quite look like rice or pasta for that matter. Oh my stomach is churning just thinking about it. I was embarrassed somehow and didn't mention it, but rather stopped eating and carried it out of the room and into another with better lighting.

Ugh. It is some type of larvae. I think I just ate larvae. I think my whole family ate larvae.

*churn*

I am pretty sure it isn't kosher.

I am not as sure that I won't be sick.

*dry heave*

I am sure I just ate a bug...

http://suburbangypsy.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-am-sure-i-just-ate-bug.html

Yes, I Still Take You For a Fool

I was thinking the other day about an incident that happened while married to my first husband:

One night I was at my mom's spending time with her and was running late getting back home. I hated to drive home at night and would always procrastinate over leaving, putting it off for as long as I could get away with. To avoid stopping at the store between her house and mine, I bummed a couple of cigarettes from her and went on my way.

My husband was not a smoker and while he knew that I did smoke, I was absolutely not allowed to smoke in the car. He didn't want the car to smell like a dirty ash tray. Did I blame him? No. Did I smoke in the car anyway? Of course. Smoking while I drive is like having a smoke after a good meal or particularly great sex. It is a must.

But I knew how to get away with it. I would keep all windows rolled down, I didn't run the a/c so the smell wasn't recycled back into the air conditioning system and when I got home I would run a baby wipe over the dash, the steering wheel and along the opening for the window. And ever so often I would vacuum the area along the back window. Since we drove a new Intrepid, I also kept a small bottle of New Car smelly spray and a small bottle of Ozium in the glove compartment to quickly cover any stink if I didn't have time to allow the car to air out before he would be in it.

While smoking in the car, I, of course, didn't use the ash tray (I have never used the ash tray in any vehicle I have owned for anything other than a place to store change - THAT is a surefire way to have your vehicle stink, blech) and typically had a soda can or go cup with a small amount of liquid that I would put my cigarettes into and could toss once I got to my destination. This particular night I had neither, so I smoked my cigarette and flicked it out the open window. Once home I did my quick clean up and went into to deal with my husband and the issue he would certainly have over my being 2 hours late - it never mattered that I was just at my mom's house.

Prior to this, I had never been busted and he was never the wiser, but there is always an exception to every rule. And this particular exception came the next day.

I can't remember exactly if he called me from work or if he waited until he got home that night to let me have it. But let me have it, he did. He had needed to put something into/get something out of the backseat of the car and found a cigarette butt and a burn hole in the upholstery. The cigarette butt he even left on the backseat to show me when he did get home.

Crap! I was never going to hear the end of this, so what did I do? I lied, of course.

My lie went something like this:

"I didn't smoke in the car! I didn't. You know I wouldn't do that. Did the car smell like cigarettes? Did you find ashes anywhere? Really, it wasn't me. (then I noticed the color of the cigarette butt, white, mine weren't white and remember I bummed this cig from my mom? Now my lie really began to take form) Look, it isn't even my brand! I don't have any idea how it got there...

OH SHIT!! Yesterday on the way out to my mom's I was sitting at the light at Red Bug and 436 and I hear this thud against the car. Scared the crap out of me really. This guy on a bike had somehow fallen into the car. Maybe he was smoking a cigarette when it happened. I don't know. You know I like to drive with the windows down because I feel claustrophobic (which I do/did but really I just need a crack in the window to lessen the pressure). I don't know. No, I didn't have anyone else in the car, it was just me, there and back..."

The next day he left work and took the car to the dealership to have the hole in the upholstery fixed. $50 dollars later he called to apologize to me.

Yes, apologize to me! I could hardly believe my ears.

He had taken the car down to have the burn hole repaired and proceeded to tell the guy at the dealership the "story" his wife had tried to tell him the night before. What kind of a fool did she take him for, that some guy on a bike had fallen into the car and somehow dropped his burning cigarette into the window at the same time. Upholstery fixing guy was not so quick, however, to dispute my story or the fact that my husband was probably a fool. UFG explained that more times than he could count over the years had he heard similar stories. People bringing in their cars for a burn hole repair due to someone flicking a cigarette (one way or another) into their open window, totally unbeknownst to the car owner.

WHAT!?!?! That actually freakin happens! I was floored. I was stunned and so ready hug some guy that I didn't even know. Of course now that I am thinking about it, I am wondering if he was just telling my husband that to save some unknown wife somewhere a bit of grief or if it really does happen.

Either way, 13/14 years later, UPG I still adore you!

Yes, I Still Take You For a Fool

http://suburbangypsy.blogspot.com/2009/02/yes-i-still-take-you-for-fool.html